THE PETTY ORACLE
★ OFFICIAL FORTUNE AUTHORITY ★
YOUR DESTINY • HIS MOOD • NO REFUNDS
Analyzing grievances...
MONITORING PETTINESS SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO
★ UPDATED EVERY TIME HE POSTS ★ DATA IS SATIRICAL
SPIN THE WHEEL OF ACCOUNTABILITY
★ THIS IS SATIRE ★ YOUR ACTUAL LUCK IS NOT DETERMINED BY ANY POLITICIAN ★
NO REAL FORTUNES WERE HARMED ★ ALL GOLD IS FAKE ★ LIKE EVERYTHING ELSE HERE ★